I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Randomize