oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
All the doctor said was why
false alarm, still single
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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