I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
