He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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