I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
