My nipple is on Facebook.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize