Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
