it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
