she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
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