we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Randomize