im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
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Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
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HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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