? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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