Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Randomize
