He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
