You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
