Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
