D3 body, D1 cock
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
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