You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
love makes seman taste better
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
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