He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
