Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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