Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
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