Apparently you make a good broom.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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