just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
