I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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