hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
