We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Randomize
