Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
people are starting to question the shark bite story
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
