Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
