our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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