Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Hippo gnu deer
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Randomize
