I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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