then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
porn star boner night. come get it.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
