Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
The feeling are messing with the penis
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Randomize
