She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Randomize
