I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
