anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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