Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
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