Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
