first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
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