does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
