so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Randomize
