Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Randomize
