Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
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