I wanna bring you to show and tell
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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