The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"