i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.