It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.