She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Randomize
