I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
there is puke in my bra ... again
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
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