Define "chronic" masturbator.
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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