I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Randomize
