would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
