it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
i now understand why vodka
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
