also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
