Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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