Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
