I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
