I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
